is it true?
Saturday, October 9, 2010
many know me without problems, without fear.
always smiling not many ever see me cry.(if you did, well, you have had the privilege)
shock comes to those closer friends and family, when i shared about the problems that had just stepped out of. i never tell anyone. no one. its just me. problems were just for myself to
overcome or for me to
breakthrough. many close friends said" Dejun, you need to share about it. cannot just keep it to yourself."
i never ever listens. i continued to keep problems to my own. reason was simple: i want those around me to be happy. always.
problems brings sadness. hurt. fear.
i never want my friends or family to feel that way around me.
that's what i told myself. that's what i believed in.
today, i was casually talking to my friend. he was telling me what he and two others were talking about me. somehow he told me in exact words, quoting from another friend of mine, "maybe he is facing problems and there is no one he can turn to"
i sat there, no words came out.
i felt tears swelling up my eyes.
i didnt know why.
yet again, i stop myself from letting it drop down.
it was as if, those words shot right through me leaving huge gap in my body.
is it true? what he had said.
is it?
deep down i felt i know .. ..
