After so much that i have gone through not only n life but even in school. i have actually better understand myself through the various LMS lessons. i have two units that have actually impacted me most. these two units are fear management and understanding you & me. through the past few weeks, my group has been very cooperative. we have been working rather well. even thought there are times where we have different thoughts and ideas. we have applied what we learnt from understanding you and me into it. example, whenever we have different ideas, we would always hear each other ideas before deciding what or which is the best. we have been listening to each other very well. we have used the effective listening strategy: 1.having a good attitude 2. being open minded 3.resisting the barriers to listen 4.listening to the non-verbal 5.responding appropriately 6.empathetic listening response In the unit of fear management, i have learn that when are the times i have experienced fear, the times when i feel my muscles tighten up, when i start to scratch my head and bite my lips. these are actually the times where i feel fear. thus through these fear i have been giving myself many negative thoughts and feelings. there are times where i asked myself," why is it others can do it but not me?" these questions are in fact very negative, i should be much more positive about myself. i should ask myself more encouraging questions,"how can i learn from other people?" or by giving myself encouragement," come on, dejun!! this is not the end yet. its time to push myself harder!!" there are also fear driven behaviours, for me i do not usually do it. however, there are times where i will actually run(not physically) away from the challenges. this is sometimes not encouraging. i am just sweeping the challenges under the carpet but not resolving the challenges. at the same time, through the lessons, i have actually start to learn from the experiences. the experiences are very dear to me these are things that you are not able to learnt else where. its a life skill that everyone may or may not go through. there are ways to conquer these fear, 1. knowing your fear 2. mastering your fear 3.reducing the physical signs of fear. 4. dealing with negative self talks 5. plan the action plan. Conflict management is also very important. there are negative and positive consequences to it. we always look highest positive outcome. so thru proper conflict management we are able to: 1.improve self-awareness 2.strengthen relationships 3.promotes group cohesion 4.promotes creativity 5.help problem-solving 6.be fun and motivating howver, proper conflict is needed!! so there are steps to proper management of conflict: 1.Know yourself and focus on what is most important to you. Identify the best outcome to attain, your goal, and the minimum acceptable outcome i can accept. 2. Look for others’ needs. give them the benefit of doubt and do not assume anything. Anticipate trouble and prevent it. Anticipate how he reacts to your actions when meeting him to resolve the conflict. Speak in a tone that the other person feels comfortable. Look for sources of fear and anger. 3: Take time to build trust. Show that you are really listening. Acknowledge differences and seek suggestions on how to move towards a mutually agreeable solution. Spend more time to get to know him. Practise smiling and watch your body language. Find out exactly what he wants, how a feels. Listen to show respect and that he is being heard. Control your negative emotions. 4: Address the other person’s needs first. Begin with positive points, move on to negative news and end on a positive note. Providing more options will help you to move towards agreement. Stay flexible. Acknowledge but need not agree. In someone's self awareness, there is always four panes 1.PUBLIC SELF: Information about feelings and attitudes that I share with others. 2.BLIND SPOT: Mannerism and other aspects of behavior of which I am unaware. 3.PRIVATE SELF: Information I choose not to share. 4.UNKNOWN AREA: Information unknown to me and to others. these panes show the areas people know abotu them self. there people whoes actions hurts other but that person do not know it. these panes show what kind of self awareness someone has. There are people in the world that has low self esteem but many of those people actually hides them by putting a mask on their face! below i will show you their patterns of behaviour. 1.The Workaholic The person is constantly striving to get ahead so that he can obtain validation and approval from others. He may also be unaware of what he truly values in life. Despite his achievements, he is rarely satisfied with what he has. 2.The Doormat This person is very likeable as she always offers a helping hand or become the problem-solver. She may care for others out of a need to be accepted. Very often, she will put the needs of others above hers to the extent of tacitly accepting victimization (for extreme cases), further draining her energy and self-esteem. 3.The Critic Always quick to condemn, gossip or put down anyone who is different or has made some achievements. This is a reflection of their own unhappiness with their self-image and their inability to take constructive action to address their own situation. 4.The Perfectionist In a bid to justify their worth, the perfection is always striving to be the best and to attain excellence. 5.The Scarecrow Just like the scarecrow in the “Wizard of Oz” who is searching for a brain, the scarecrow in this context is without a mind of his own. He doesn’t trust his own uniqueness and believes that the only way is to blindly follow the trend or to do what everyone else is doing. 6.The Shirker The person who shirks his responsibilities may be suffering from a lack of confidence in his ability. If something goes wrong, he may blame the problems on someone else, finding it difficult to acknowledge responsibility for his own actions. the are ways to enhance our self esteem: 1. value ourselves -• The Workaholic The person is constantly striving to get ahead so that he can obtain validation and approval from others. He may also be unaware of what he truly values in life. Despite his achievements, he is rarely satisfied with what he has. • The Doormat This person is very likeable as she always offers a helping hand or become the problem-solver. She may care for others out of a need to be accepted. Very often, she will put the needs of others above hers to the extent of tacitly accepting victimization (for extreme cases), further draining her energy and self-esteem. • The Critic Always quick to condemn, gossip or put down anyone who is different or has made some achievements. This is a reflection of their own unhappiness with their self-image and their inability to take constructive action to address their own situation. • The Perfectionist In a bid to justify their worth, the perfection is always striving to be the best and to attain excellence. • The Scarecrow Just like the scarecrow in the “Wizard of Oz” who is searching for a brain, the scarecrow in this context is without a mind of his own. He doesn’t trust his own uniqueness and believes that the only way is to blindly follow the trend or to do what everyone else is doing. • The Shirker The person who shirks his responsibilities may be suffering from a lack of confidence in his ability. If something goes wrong, he may blame the problems on someone else, finding it difficult to acknowledge responsibility for his own actions. there are ways to enhance your self esteem: 1.value yourself i. Acknowledge and Appreciate Your Positive Qualities ii. Practise Self-Affirmation 2. Deal with Negative Beliefs i. Limiting Beliefs ii. Let Go of Limiting Beliefs 3. Positive Thinking i. Reframing ii. Visualisation iii. Anchoring 4. Surround Yourself with Positive & Supportive People 5. Take Time to Enjoy Life I am actually listening to music while typing this, the song is by avril lavinge, called keep holding on. it has the lyrics that sings, "keep holding on, just staying strong ,cos i know i will make it through". this song is actually very similar to fear. to those that is reading this post, keep holding on and staying strong. our exams are near, lets strive on to work for excellence without fear!!!!

Again time to blog. haha. well, due my good friends at ngee ann. their muscles getting bigger!! MY GOD!! i also training. haha. for the pass few days, i have been going to gym almost everyday. well, my target is to have a nice body.. strong also lah. so can push the dragonboat mah. haiz its has been so long since i go for the draginboat liao. not much of my friends going also. cos they all have their test coming up this week. so they jio me go gym. later, i will be going gym so most likely i will be training abs and shoulders again.. then do somemore running. for the past weeksss no training. i became fatter laio lah.. so gotta run.. haha. okay that will be all for this post.. i will post again.. see ya guys soon. for a want of a horseshoe, the horse was lost. for the want of a horse, the message was not delivered. for a want of a lost message, the war was lost. Japanese qoute.. in life we need to set everything down, so at the end there will be result for us..

now!! this post is specailly dedicated to edmund koh, for pushing me to go blog. haha. well, i was think of blogging afew days ago. but just couldnt find the time. due all the projects and presentation coming up. now the time is 1am.. i got a presentation tmw at 11am. aiyo, still gotta dress smartly. today, i thought i had retest for my POA, which i failed the first test. however, i went into the venue and found out it is a remedial lesson. haiz, so dump of me. moving on!! the remedial was indeed very useful for me i had many of my doubts cleared and understand POA much much better. initially, after failing two of my test, i had thoughtd of changing course. right now, i decided to just move on with this course. well people in life sometimes really faces alot of challenges. for me, i know i will always go through as long i never give up.. well, i will be blogging soon.. so look out, dejun is coming back!! by the way, i am jealous of you guys building up your muscles so fast.. i wil also build up!!!!!!